Well, it's Sunday afternoon and I'm lying on my bed surrounded by bedding and a pile of clean laundry. My desk is littered with debris that will be important come Monday morning... my mind is piled in questions. So this post will be an introverted muddle... my apologies in advance.
This morning over Cheerios and hot tea, I read the story of George Mueller, who depended on God to provide from day to day for the orphans in his care. He kept this prayer journal, to record everything he ever asked God to work out in his life; and along with every prayer he recorded the answer when it came. Most of the time the answer came the same day he prayed. Sometimes (like when his wife and baby died), God allowed a deep suffering.
On Thursday my friend Deb asked for prayer about having to work overtime this weekend. She was extremely discouraged; her boss had added a day shift on to her schedule, between two of her regular night shifts. Basically, she was looking at no sleep for 36 hours.
I saw her at church this morning, bright-eyed and cheery. Apparently, right after she had asked us to pray for her, she went to work. Her boss told her she would get Saturday night off, giving her a chance to sleep before her work marathon today. "God answered my prayer before we ever had a chance to pray about it," she said.
In my own life, I find myself not asking God for things; or if I ask him, I forget to praise him for the way he answers. These days I'm mostly praying about students. But I'm not praying expectantly. I'm praying for something I never actually expect to see--that my students would know Christ, and love him, and grow through the situations they are in right now.
I'm also praying for a lot of "unspoken" requests that I don't even know about.
But in the day-to-day, I trust myself to find what I need. I wake up in the morning and vow to get everything done, without asking God to provide a way. I go to bed every night promising myself that I will get enough sleep, without claiming God's promise to give rest. God can't answer my requests unless I ask him. And when I ask him, I can trust. Trust that he knows and provides a way.
For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
The sermon today was about Rachel and Leah in Genesis 30-- a passage that makes me laugh (in a heartless sort of way) because it finds the two women in the midst of "baby wars"--each trying to outdo the other by having more children. The jealousy and fighting between these women is childish, but their situation is far from humorous--it's devastating. Both women crave love and fulfillment. Rachel has the love of her husband, but no children. She spites her relationship with her husband by demanding that he provide her with sons. Leah is unloved, but never stops hoping that her children will buy her the love of her husband.
Pastor Ramsey compared us (the church, Christ's bride) with Rachel. Instead of finding Christ's love satisfying and sufficient, we demand more. When we can't demand, we resort to fights and manipulation. But God says to ask for what we desire, and then trust him. He provides everything we need. For God works all things for the good of those who love him....
