Prayer for the Broken-Hearted

"O blessed Jesus, may we find a covert in thy wounds. Though our sins they rise to meet us, how they fall next to the merits of You!"

Sometimes I'm surprised by the fact that I'm a sinner. First I screw up. Then I scrape my self-respect off the pavement, trying to save face after saying something arrogant, or criticizing one of my colleagues, or gossiping, or one of those other "respectable" sins that I fall into so easily.

Maybe "surprised" isn't the right word. It's just that someone with my excellent character can't fathom what just happened when the evil let loose. That was sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it dripping... What should be remorse for sin boils down to the feeling that I am quite a good person, and quite proud of it, and therefore there shouldn't be any sin. In fact, the appearance of any imperfection is annoying at best, because it affects my reputation and temporarily smudges the crystalline self-image that I have of myself.

And this is where the prayer for the brokenhearted comes in--as David says, "A broken and contrite heart, O God, this you will not despise." Confession is God's love language. He falls for it every time! While my pride, arrogance, and self-exaltation make show of stubborn independence, repentance drives me back into God's heart. No day in my life has passed that hasn't proved me guilty.

And yes, today I've been proven guilty. Today I have nothing in my hand to offer God--no respectability, dignity, self-worth, sound judgment. I don't even have the self-control to make myself feel and think and discern the right things--especially in the face of people that I know to be wrong. I have criticism. I have pride. I have gossip. That is my native language. My "mother tongue" is self-righteousness.

But Jesus demands that I shed that righteousness for His, that I shed the ways of the old country and humbly ask for what he offers. I come from a place that is graceless--a place where even I can't accept grace because I try to be good on my own merits. Christ in his grace asks me to relinquish this, in order that He may conquer all in his own name. Though our sins may rise to meet us, how they fall next to the merits of You!