It set in slowly since Ben has been gone. It started with the ache of "I know God loves us; why this?" Then came the certain knowing that there is a "because," and the aching comfort in being near a God who will not ordain senseless pain.
Because. What is the because? When the mail came today, I saw that that the RP Witness featured an article on suffering. I thumbed through and saw the usual list. Because. Suffering brings us closer to God. Suffering corrects us of our sins and error. Suffering brings people to God who don't know Him. Suffering makes us long for heaven. All true reasons… that all seem trite when nursing a gaping hole in the heart that was once full of a brother, a friend.
Up late with music and a still deformed Bible memory habit (It's January 3, after all), I found myself tracing out words. While we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Christ died for us when we were weak. "While we were still sinners"--that was the right time, and yet it seems untimely even to speak of it. God incarnate walked the earth and had a mom and brothers and sisters and roamed around the countryside speaking to smelly crowds of people, going off and praying to his Father, performing signs… This roaming lifestyle of good news was cut short--not for great people--but for people who could not answer the because. Undeserving people. "Even for a righteous man someone might die," says Paul. But Christ died when there was no good person to die for. Only a thief received his promise: Today I will be with you in Paradise.
And He breathed his last before bystanders recognized him. "Surely this man was the Son of God!". So it had to be--because we did not long to see God's face as we should.
Christ wanted to be missed. He ended his time here quickly to show us that we also would need to move on. His Father was building a house to hold all of us: I go to prepare a place for you--that where I am, there you may be also. Contrary to reason, the lame and blind, twisted and sickly are those summoned to come and eat with him in his house. Sitting around his table we will know we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
"And one day when the sky rolls back on us
Some rejoice and the others fuss
because every knee must bow and tongue confess
that the Son of God is forever blessed.
His is the kingdom, we're the guests
so put your voice up to the test:
Sing 'Lord, come soon!' "
--Josh Garrels, "Farther Along"
Elizabeth - don't know if you remember me. We sang together in Handel's Messiah several years ago. As a blogger, I've noticed your occasional posts over the intervening time period. I was so sorry to recently read your post on your brother's passing. I too, lost a brother very close to Christmas (Dec. 3, 2004). Just know that many people are praying for you and your family. If you ever need anything - someone to get coffee with, someone to have prayer with - anything, let me know.
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